Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
