i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
