I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize