you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
