people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
