I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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