If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
