i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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