your room smells of hookers.
And success
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
where are my eyebrows?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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