I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
