I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
