you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize