how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
