just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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