You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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