I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
