i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
