How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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