I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
