she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
