How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize