Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
