And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
