You smell like stripper and shame
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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