They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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