Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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