My boss' voice literally gives me gas
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
