It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
