On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
