does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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