sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
