hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
