Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
