my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
