True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
