I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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