Say something about gay babies.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
