I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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