I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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