I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You took a bar mat shot.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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