Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
