Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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