I wanna passion pit in your ass
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
