drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
