And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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