just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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