He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Randomize
