I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
