Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
