if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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