The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize