I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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