ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
