so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He passed out mid-signature
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize