If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
