Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
