im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
