i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
