I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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