brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
