oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
