I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ugly people sure do ruin things
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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