That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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